My grandmas death was harsh on my mother. She thought she would never recover like most people when they lose a parent. Even though she already knew she was pregnant there wasn't much hope for her to lighten her life; after all, she was a teen mother and it hurt her even more than my grandma was awaiting the birth of her granddaughter. After having me she discovered that she could love someone as much as she loved her mother. She found that she could love me and love no one else like she loves me. As a child, I remember being the happiest with my mom since I would spend most of the time missing her since we didn't live together. Every week I would wait for Friday to cross the border and see her for two days. She would try to get as many shifts as possible during the week to dedicate the weekend to us. We share a feeling of uneasiness every time we see the border since it reminds us of those Sundays when I had to go back to my dad. My whole life I witnessed how my mom tried to get better and better at being financially stable. She didn't pick a career that made her happy but the one that made the most money since she lived in Mexico, where a job that provided a good salary was not normal. I remember seeing her cry multiple times when she didn't have enough to pay her tuition; then I also remember the day of her graduation as a nurse after getting through all of university with financial aid granted to her for being a top student.
Does the stigma around a teen mother push her to pursue an education? Most of the time mothers in general make mistakes, it's normal for one to make mistakes and even get reassurance that it's normal from the people around them. For teenage mothers, it might be different since they might get looked at as if they made a big mistake overall for getting pregnant which might lead them to get judged for every single thing. For this, some Mothers may get overwhelmed and left to think about the way they manage things and do things. This then might lead them to want better for their children by getting a better education to pursue a better career.
Some of the reasons why most teens or young children are told to not have a child is because they would not be able to give it a stable life with financial stability or barely making ends meet with food or clothing for them. If teenagers have a baby most of the time it will not permit them to get a proper education that would lead them to have a stable job. For this reason, some moms have to get a job which most of the time is a minimum-wage job that is only good for one person and not for a mom and her child. A mother should be able to provide children with the bare minimum which is clothing, food, and an education including things her child might want .
In the article "To Solve Problem, We Must Face It fighting teen pregnancy requires coming to grips with some sensitive issues: SAVING OUT CHILDREN. When kids have kids." Warren Ellen we get introduced to the common topic of teen pregnancy can be seen in the title "Kids Have Kids". There are multiple reasons for this but in this article, the main reason is pointed out which is the lack of sex education. Kids do get sex education at a young age but mostly in high school or at home which can be an awkward topic for parents and most of the time it's not clarified enough on what are the other options other than a condom to use. This article points out how it would be a better option to introduce sex education during the early years like 10-12 years old and even kids already start thinking or being introduced to the topic of sex. For this, it would be better to have these topics introduced during elementary school to prevent teen pregnancy and show students what their life could be without a baby and how they have better shots at getting far in their education and their future. This article shows how since some students et their idea into their head of not going through teen pregnancy it leads them to think more about their future on what profession they would like to pursue. It is also important to show kids the consequences of what would be coming for them if they had a baby with difficulties like finding a job that can supply enough money for a mother and her family like the Father, the Mother, and the baby. Some could have the luck to stay with the father but some may stay single and could have difficulty trying to be financially stable for themselves and the child.
The term stigma refers to an emotion that some negatively feel toward certain people, such as looking down at them or seeing them as less capable of doing things. Teen moms experience stigma most of the time. A lot of times teen moms experience stigma from family members, friends, or even strangers. They feel like a teenager with a child could not be capable of doing a lot of things like having a secure job to take care of the child or achieving more things later in life like education or raising their income. This stigma towards teen mothers has characteristics like disapproval by their family members most of the time their parents. Discrimination is also another characteristic since teen moms do get judged and labeled as irresponsible most of the time which can lead to them not getting the help they need. An example of this term representing what teen moms go through is when they are in certain environments like at school since they might get judged by the student as well as the staff like teachers. They can also be exposed to stigma in work if they have a job since they might see the mother as irresponsible or not capable of things. The place where this is most experienced would be at home since teen mothers are usually judged by their parents. In this way sometimes stigma is what pushes teen Mothers to be better. I do believe that sometimes the people who express stigma toward these teen mothers don't do it on purpose but honestly, it is hard to believe that a teen Mother could be a stable mother mother is perfect of course but sometimes it is better to be a mother when you've had in mind that you are going to be prepared. Even so, it should not be believed that they won't get better over time.
Knowing about how having a baby at such a young age for my mother has been something that I've always known about. You could say that I've had an interview about how it was for my mom for years since she usually tells me about it a lot. The way I've gotten the most of it though has been through my stepmom since she has told me everything my Mom didn't because she didn't want to seem like the bad guy in the story. That is not what this is about though, it is about some conversations I've gotten from my mother that have been engraved into my head about being a teen mother. My mom got judged a lot for not being the greatest mother during my first years, she was working all the time or going to school and she went partying a lot most of the time I would go over to visit her. Three days that I saw her, 72 hours were the most precious to me since she was the person I loved the most, the one I looked up to a lot, and who I wanted to be with for most of my day. Most of the time she had 2 jobs which had her lacking sleep and very busy. That wouldn't stop us from seeing each other since she would bring me to her job. She would also bring me with her to her nursing school. Everyone else saw how she was always working or going out which some might have seen as not having time for me. It was great how in all the things she did she would bring me along, and I thought it was fun because I love my mother. The most significant moment of my mom being a teen mother was the day I was born, she felt ready and like an adult even though she was a teen mother but then as she got to the hospital and started noticing that someone had to sign for her since she was a minor that's when it kicked in for her. Even though she worked a lot for me in my childhood it is something she regrets " If I could change something during that time since I was immature and prioritized things I shouldn't have, I wish I would've focused more on the time I spent with my daughter than the money to buy you a dress for a party I couldn't even take you to, I know it would've been better for you to go to that party barefoot than going to that party with your aunt but a good dress". Sometimes It comes to my mind how there are a lot of things that I have resentment about my childhood but I also think about how my mom was just a kid too. It was her first time being a mother and she wasn't even ready. She tried to give me everything even if she struggled financially. Being a teen mother also comes with financial problems most of the time but it's important to remember that sometimes children just want their mother's company.
When my mom thinks about her experience as a teen mother the main thing that surprises her is how if she had gone through all the things she went through right now she would've never been able to handle it, she feels like she would've even "died three times". It's hard for her to think about all the mistakes she made in the past as a teen mother, even wishing she could go back. Still, it's also important to think about how everyone would be so quick to judge or look at the negative side first on her actions when she was just a kid who had a kid. There is always a sense of doubt in these teen mothers about completing a good average education after or during the pregnancy. Most of the time these mothers might think it's too late to complete their education since some may not be graduates or some may. Even if they are high school graduates getting a stable job for three or more family members without something higher than a high school education can be hard which is why it's important for mothers to not stick to the stigma against them completing higher education. A teenager is never ready mentally or physically to overcome a pregnancy neither is the family but it's never right to make it harder for them after. It's important to not believe that they can't make something out of their life. My mother and I are different from what we were before, our house is something that we never saw in our future, our cars, or her job. It is important to of course lead teens to learn what teen pregnancy is like and educate them on what their life can be like. It is something that can be prevented.
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