At a normal glance, my mother's bright and bubbly personality would make any normal passerby believe she's as normal as you can get. No one really stops to think what a person has gone through. My mother did not become the way she is overnight. I'd even argue this is not who she is at all, as it is a mask to hide years of struggling and hardships, trauma and pain. At the young age of 7, my mother, like any other kid, simply wanted to play and live as a child does. However, what no one anticipates is the evil that hides in the dark places, the evil that seeks to take the innocence away from children living out their childhood. My mother was molested by a family member. One who you'd believe is the cool and caring type. What followed after is a never ending pathway of torment, ones that I only hear about in the stories my mother shares with me. Whether it'd be about how my grandparents were in and out of a jail cell, about how my tio had to sell drugs to make ends meet, or even the one about how my mother got pregnant with me at 18, just before her life had truly begun. A human being can only endure so much, and my mom spiraled into a deep depression. She was filled with anxiety and suicidal thoughts. But even after all was said and done, my mom persevered. She raised a beautiful family, one that I am happy to say I am a part of. My mom's story is one that I hold close to my heart. One that left me in tears for many nights. That is why I believe it is important to share my mom's incredible tale. One that I believe can inspire others to pull themselves out of a dark place. One that is enough to earn the tattoo of a semicolon on her wrist. (See image above - Fig 1. Semicolon tattoo replacing the letter “I” in the words “Be Still”).
What is the major idea for the semicolon on a person’s wrist? The tattoo holds significance, as it is the central idea of Project Semicolon, an organization dedicated to helping those who struggle with mental health issues. Founded by Amy Bleuel, a mental health activist, the semicolon tattoo is a symbol of strength. The strength to keep going (Itkowitz). It is important to always let people know they are not alone, especially when it comes to mental health. My mom fought hard against depression and anxiety for many years, and Project Semicolon showed her she was not fighting this battle alone. It showed her as well as many others that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and that their story is not over. Although many of those who suffer with mental health feel as though all hope is lost, those who have a semicolon on their wrist choose not to let their story end - for like a semicolon, they choose to continue and move forward.
This article titled, "Remembering Amy Bleuel", written by Colby Itkowitz, tells the story of Amy Bleuel, the founder and creator of Project Semicolon; an organization dedicated to helping those with mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, etc. She created the project in April 2013, and to this day, 11 years later, Project Semicolon has amassed a following of millions online and around the world. Amy Bleul died on March 24, 2017. Although the article doesn't explicitly state the cause of death, it was later confirmed that Amy lost her own battles with mental health and committed suicide. Amy endured much throughout her life, as stated by Itkowitz, and when she took to the internet with an idea that anyone who had struggled with mental illness should draw a semicolon on their wrist, it was a massive success. The tagline was as follows, "Your story isn't over." Much like how a semicolon is used to continue a sentence, the semicolon would represent that you will continue your life. Towards the end of the article, Itkowitz shows some of the responses to Amy's death, further showing just how impactful Amy and her work really was to people. One example included was, "Your infectious quest to inspire positivity will live on. Thanks for changing lives. RIP Amy Bleuel" (Itkowitz). The article also tells about how Amy Bleuel had mentioned how hard it was for her being the face of the project, but also how healing it was. Amy felt strongly about her work and the legacy she left behind. She wanted people to know they weren't suffering in silence, and that someone was always there even when it felt like no one was. As a result, society as a whole was starting to realize how important mental health really is, and Amy’s work had truly opened the eyes of many to the situation.
Amy Bleuel, the founder of Project Semicolon, passed away due to suicide in March of 2017. Amy Bleuel founded Project Semicolon in 2013 for people suffering from mental illness and to help bring awareness to the growing issue. In 2013 alone, people ages 15-24, died due to suicide. It was the second leading cause of death for people within that age range. Even now, suicide continues to plague people all over the world. Many people are afraid to speak out about their battles with mental health due to the negative stigma surrounding mental illness. Amy once stated in an interview, "People want to know they're not suffering in silence" (Itkowitz). It is here that Amy Bleuel explains how severe mental health can be, especially to people who are afraid to speak out. As she was someone who dealt with many mental health issues of her own, she knows what it's like to be in the shoes of someone who is suffering. She knows people don't want to feel alone when they're going through everything it is that they go through. It is this crucial piece of information that could save a life. Reach out and let people know you're always there and that they're not alone. Hence, the founding of Project Semicolon. [See Image above: Fig. 2. Founder of Project Semicolon Amy Bleuel (thestar.com).]
Strength is a characteristic that gives us the ability to push through many difficult obstacles and overcome many challenges presented to us throughout our lives. People who suffer from mental illness require this characteristic sixfold, as they must possess the strength required to overcome their biggest hurdle and most difficult obstacle; themselves. These individuals may not be inherently strong in the sense that they can lift a car, but they are strong enough to lift themselves when no one else is there to lend a hand and pick them back up. The people of Project Semicolon excel in this regard, as they are able to push past thoughts of suicide and self-harm, or as their main idea puts it, they choose to continue their stories rather than end them. They are the writers of their own tale, the captains of their soul. This is not something that is easily accomplished or done. These people who suffer constant agony with the thoughts of their own making must have the strength to rise above it all, to escape the suffocating pressure of a mind that won't stop racing. This overwhelming sense of the inability to act or do something to change their lifestyle for the better may prove to be too much for some, resulting in self-harm or even suicide. That is why those who have the courage and most importantly, the strength to take the first step towards self recovery possess an extraordinary amount of perseverance and mental fortitude. A strength of the mind that is not present in even those who have no struggle with mental illness. This is a strength that not even I possess at times, which is why it is so inspiring to see those who do inevitably overcome these difficulties make a difference in not only their lives, but those around them.
It was a regular night at the Garcia household. However, something was different. My mother wasn’t present. In fact, she was in San Diego doing a special training for a new type of brain procedure involving stimulating the mind to help individuals who suffer with depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, and PTSD. Her reputation as a reliable and hard working nurse had preceded her in the Imperial Valley to the point where it caught the attention of the prestigious Dr. Ahmed, a doctor who founded Kaizen Brain Center with the goal of treating patients who suffer from different mental disorders. After she had gotten off of one of her training day’s, we video called to talk about how she got to where she is today and what her two semicolon tattoos mean to her; something that patients constantly recognized and took note of almost immediately. “It’s a daily reminder for me of how strong I am and all the obstacles I’ve overcome,” my mother explained. “I didn’t quit, I kept going.”
My mom knew she could either lay in bed all day and think about suicide, or get up, get out there, and get to making a difference in lives that needed to be saved. This is what ultimately led to her becoming the nurse she is today. She casted aside all her dark and traumatic memories and decided to be a person who wasn’t held back by something that happened in her past that she couldn’t control. My mom remembers vividly what happened to her that day. The man who got away with child molestation. After all, it was his word against hers. “Ashamed, embarrassed, scared, confused.” My mother slowly recalled the feelings that swarmed her around the time that it happened.
As the conversation continued, I could get the sense that my mom was deeply troubled by the thought of what had happened. What surprised me however, was the look of resolve that filled her eyes. One that was sure to climb mountains and exceed limits. To go beyond what was expected of her, or of any person who may have been in her situation. “It made me angry, everyone put him on a pedestal and didn’t see the monster of a man that was hiding inside,” she proclaimed. She was afraid of saying anything, yet the rage that boiled inside for the man that committed the act was burning deep within. Despite that, she didn’t let that prohibit her from living the life she wanted. After countless nights of tossing and turning, my mom decided this would not be her end. Her story would continue being written. The only difference is, she would be the one holding the pen.
Looking down at the semicolon tattoos on her wrist and arm, she explained, “I was searching up symptoms of depression and had come across Project Semicolon’s website. It was there that I read about the founder of the project, and her story completely resonated with me.” My mother describes it as a testament of all that she had been through. She was inspired. She wanted to keep going. She didn’t want her life to end. My mom had always had those two semicolon tattoos on her body. Even though she did not get them until long after she discovered Project Semicolon, they had become a part of her and her character. Where a scared, broken, and angry person once stood now stood a woman of strength, one who now stood for what she wanted and what she had always believed in, a person of resilience.
My mother has always been the type to strike a conversation with anybody if she was given the chance. A social butterfly, my mom always knows how to brighten the room with her happy-go-lucky disposition. Her light always shines bright, especially onto those who seem trapped in a darkness they can't escape. Her ability to do this stems from her roots of having to be in a constant battle with herself. One that she claims victory over again and again. Through her personal troubles and traumatic experiences, she gained the ability to sympathize and comfort the people who need a shred of hope. A shred of hope like the semicolon permanently engraved on my mother's body. Her very character captures the strength and courage represented through the ideas of Project Semicolon. Even though things always seem to go wrong in life, it has been proven time and time again that staying alive and never losing the light at the end of the tunnel will undoubtedly lead to a better way forward. One filled with peace, happiness, and contentment. Those strong enough to put their mind to rest get to choose how they want their story to go, and how it may be written. When a mind refuses to stop running, it can fill us with thoughts that slowly torment us, and can ultimately prove to be the unsuspecting danger that leads us to an early grave. That is why it is important to never lose the light, to always search for a way out, and always grasp onto our lives with all the strength we have to give. Our lives belong to us. Not to our thoughts, not to our emotions, nor to our pasts. We can seize the future and carve our way forward. Our stories are not over.
Works Cited
Calamur, Jayadev. "More than a Punctuation Mark: Project Semicolon, which Represents Hope for those Struggling with Depression, has Gained Much Popularity since its Launch Two Years Ago. Jayadev Calamur speaks to those Who have Battled their Skeletons to Understand Why they Opted for the Semicolon Tattoo." DNA.Sunday, Sep 13, 2015. ProQuest, www.proquest.com/newspapers/more-than-punctuation-mark/docview/1711219668/se-2. Accessed 22 Oct. 2024.
Dailey, Ryan. "Project Semicolon Seeks Talk on Suicide." Tallahassee Democrat, Apr 15, 2016. ProQuest, www.proquest.com/newspapers/project-semicolon-seeks-talk-on-suicide/docview/1781155079/se-2. Accessed 22 Oct. 2024.
Itkowitz, Colby. "'And Your Story will Live on': Remembering Amy Bleuel, Mental Health Advocate and Founder of Project Semicolon: Bleuel Inspired Millions to be Unashamed of their Mental Health Struggles." Washington Post – BlogsWP Company LLC d/b/a The Washington Post, 2017. ProQuest, www.proquest.com/blogs-podcasts-websites/your-story-will-live-on-remembering-amy-bleuel/docview/1882319522/se-2. Accessed 20 Oct. 2024.
Munz, Michele. "Semicolon tattoos Signify New Start, Inspire Hope in Others with Mental Illness." St.Louis Post - Dispatch, Sep 13, 2015. ProQuest, www.proquest.com/newspapers/semicolon-tattoos-signify-new-start-inspire-hope/docview/1711272089/se-2. Accessed 20 Oct. 2024.
"Project Semicolon Aims to Leave an Impression." The Paris Star (Online)Postmedia Network Inc, 2015. ProQuest, www.proquest.com/blogs-podcasts-websites/project-semicolon-aims-leave-impression/docview/2167482281/se-2. Accessed 20 Oct. 2024.
Rhodes-Fannin, E. "My Experience with Project Semicolon." Great Falls Tribune, Jan 25, 2019. ProQuest, www.proquest.com/newspapers/my-experience-with-project-semicolon/docview/2172869221/se-2. Accessed 22 Oct. 2024.
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