Before I met Fernanda she was a nobody in my eyes. A person who would just do whatever she needs to do to get her work done. She had long purple hair that could run down to her waist. She was a person who wouldn’t back down from a challenge and would always try to find the best possible path to be the best. The first time we interacted with each other she asked me to be a part of her team for a video that we needed to create. I was iffy at first but soon realized that everyone else had already assembled their groups so I was left to work with her. Mrs Slyvester asked the class who would like to participate in a competition called SkillsUSA and Fernanda was quick to raise her hand along with one other group. I didn’t expect much from competing in this competition since our third teammate was never to be seen and I had no interest in this matter.
However, as time passed we began to open up to each other the more we spent time together. That was when I first learned about Fernanda's home life; how she was currently living with her sister instead of her mother. Since this was new to me I asked her “how come?”. She goes on to state that it wasn’t too big of a deal and we should keep working on the assignment. We submitted our video and shockingly won regional and moved on to the state level. Fernanda and I were glad that we succeeded in moving on to the next stage, but it wasn’t going to be easy for her because during this time she had gone under child protective services and was forced to live with another family since her home was considered unstable. Now Fernanda had to find a way to continue the competition while trying to figure out how life would be from now on.
What is life like living as a child protective service child? The children are subject to high amounts of stress and trauma that may rise over time. And most times the CPS providers are not as helpful as they should be since there are many children in the system that the provider cannot be there for every one of their cases. Though Child Protective Services seems like a good idea it is a grueling process that greatly impacts a child's mental health. Along with the social worker's mental health where they then see children as another number in the system over time.
Rise delves into Sarah Harris's story to discuss how the system failed her as a child and now won’t leave her alone. She states that child protective services took a step into her life because “my son needed protection from me”, and now her child “with anger and anxiety.” Then we discover how the system still hadn’t helped her when she needed them because her mother’s husband would force himself onto her. So Harris decided to call child protective services but they had taken her mother's side and believed that nothing was going on. As years flew by Sarah had met her son’s father and had Adam, but her husband would soon start to abuse her but she stayed since she thought “ abuse was the way to show love”. And so her family slowly started to fall apart as Sarah was called by child protective services and they would assume that the bruises found on Adam were from her but in reality from Adam’s father. Adam was later placed in a foster care system due to child protective services and came home with separation anxiety. This demonstrates how easily child protective services can break a family and cause children to become more anxious and afraid of the world. To make things worse her son needed services for his ADHD and she didn’t want him to be separated from the other kids just because he was a bit different. But the school had other plans and had enlisted Adam with the special-ed children. Sarah tried to report this but instead of aiding her they took Adam and placed him in foster care for two weeks. Now Adam blames Sarah because they were separated instead of blaming child protective services who were the ones who originally caused this mess. Child protective services must be improved in every way possible if they can let cases like this be caused.
In a blog published by the Law Office of Bryan Fagan “Impact on Children: Exploring the Long-Term Effects of Involvement with Child Protective Services” the writer goes into depth about how being removed from an unfit household by CPS can cause foster children who have been traumatized to go untreated, develop issues that may follow them to adulthood. According to him, he explains that throughout their time there they can develop trust issues which can make it challenging to form bonds with others and throw off their education. Additionally, these issues are further compounded by disruptions to living environment as well as a change of social support, “Changes in living arrangements and schools can hinder academic progress, leading to gaps in learning and potential setbacks in long-term educational outcomes” para.22. The educational setbacks is often accompanied by seclusion. The child, often feeling shame for the circumstances not under their control, causes them to be more introverted in their new surroundings. In paragraph 23, Fagan states “Feelings of shame or isolation may emerge, impacting their ability to form connections with peers,” this quote expresses the adolescent mindset of a child who has experienced tremendous trauma and feels “different” often impacting their confidence and self-esteem.
Fernanda and I couldn’t meet in person due to our distance so we decided to Facetime each other. It was 6 in the afternoon when she was seen working hard to complete her assignments. It looked as if Fernanda had no time for breaks, but as soon as she finished she began to loosen up and seemed as calm as the sea. Fernanda proceeded to ask “So what’s up, what did you want to talk about” I didn’t want her to know I was writing this essay about her so I created a lie saying “I just need a couple of questions answered for my social psychology class”. She says “Hit me with them” I ask her “In all of your experiences with child protective services, what has most surprised you?” Fernanda states she was surprised at how fast it happened that it just took one meeting she couldn’t say her goodbyes or pack “All I had was the clothing on my body, my dead phone, and a pair of flip flops that broke that same day.”
I noticed Fernanda fiddling with her hands as if she was nervous, but it was just a habit Fernanda had developed when talking to others as a way to express herself more. We then discussed how she felt when she discovered she was going to be taken away for the first time. Fernanda seemed to get more serious the first time being asked the question. “Discovering I was being taken away from my family left me feeling empty but also guilty,” Fernanda proclaimed “I had thought I was the reason for the case being reopened because I let it slip that my older brother had been close to hitting my little brother but I later learned that wasn’t the main reason.” After this, she became more obedient and willing to go wherever CPS would take her. “I didn’t want to make things worse so I stayed quiet and tried not to think about wanting to go back home.”
Fernanda seemed as if what she had said wasn’t too big of a deal, but I could see the misery in her eyes while talking about how it all started. I asked her if she would like to move on to a different subject, but she seemed dedicated to discussing about it for a while longer. To bring a close to this topic I asked what was her motivation while being in child protective services. “What kept me moving forward was the want to get out,” When Fernanda first said this I was confused to make it easier she said “I wanted an escape” since she had been first placed in this system at fifteen years old and is still currently in it with only two weeks left before she turned eighteen. It is clear that the program had left a great impact on her life but she claims “there’s no going back to the time before CPS but I can keep working towards a future that goes beyond that experience while feeling thankful to those who took me through the experience”. Fernanda thanked me for interviewing her since she felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. A burden that seemed impossible to lift in her eyes had finally begun to rise a bit.
Since Fernanda started her high school career she rarely had a moment to rest from all her troubles being in child protective services. The only time she found some peace was when she was in school focusing all her efforts on graduating with a good enough GPA to earn more funding for her education. Though she has gone through many endeavors Fernanda always sought the good in whichever position she was placed in. Most people often assume child-protective kids are failures or do not have place much faith in them since there is a stigma that these children will just be adults in the future who either commit crimes or just take space on earth and “waste” our resources. However, Fernanda didn’t want to be a number in this system placed by society so she strived to prove herself and that she was just as good or even better than most people around her.
By graduating in white she had shown to her family that she would not back down in achieving the goals she had set for herself. Fernanda does this mostly for her younger siblings since she wants to be a role model in their future and show them that life may give you obstacles but they can all be overcome with enough determination and grit. Fortunately, all her late-night studying, extracurriculars, and participating in community service events led her to be invited into a program that would pay for her college expenses during the summer, and is now ahead in credits compared to her classmates. It was great to write and learn what inspires Fernanda to do what she currently does. Regardless Fernanda still has a long way to go to achieve her goals. She is currently studying in Santa Barbara California to work in the film industry and wants to become a producer and work with new and upcoming actors in our generation.
Works Cited
Harris, Sarah. “CPS Failed Me as a Child and Parent.” Rise Magazine, Rise Magazine, 29 June 2020, www.risemagazine.org/2019/09/no-escape/.
Merritt, Darcey H. “How Do Families Experience and Interact with CPS?” The Annals of the American Academy of Political and Social Science, U.S. National Library of Medicine, Nov. 2020, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10704914/#:~:text=Every%20child%20and%20parent%20who,origin%20and%20placed%20in%20care.
Merritt, Darcey H. “Documenting Experiences and Interactions with Child Protective Services.” Focus, U.S. National Library of Medicine, Sept. 2021, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10701339/.
Telles-Quintero, Fernanda. Personal Interview with the subject. 2 October 2024
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